Plot Summary: A married housewife, the mother
of three, works hard at keeping her family together. The father, unhappy about
growing old, takes out his frustrations on his family. He dies in an auto
accident while leaving town with his girlfriend. The family has to look at
themselves and the future.
Lessons and healing themes in this story:
- Living in a chaotic/dysfunctional family
- When you are codependent
- If food is the only thing that loves you
- Trying to get your own identity
- Dealing with a death and going on
- Living in a fantasy that someone really loves you
- Trying to escape from an abusive home
- When one of the parents abandons his/her share of the duty and responsibility to parent and be there for the family.
I made the case that today we have this “existential crisis” where modern living/equality have created a situation where it’s easy for families to become dysfunctional. This movie will show you all the nuances of a dysfunctional family.
You’ll experience all the turmoil, frustrations and
emotional torture that come with codependency, alcohol, emotional abuse,
denial, you name it – and how this heady mix creates conditions that predispose kids
to a future where pain is inevitable and success, happiness and fulfillment can
only be dreamed about.
The key figure in the story is Mom. Listen for the telling
moment when she promises her husband she’ll work harder if he will only stay.
It’s painful to watch, but also instructive/insightful. Some women will relate
as she turns to food for comfort in times of emotional crises.
Also notice how the daughter supports her mother’s
codependency and in turn is codependent herself. We can only speculate what
sort of marriage awaits her when she grows but from what we know, she will
likely become addicted to the pain of abusive relationships. In “Sometimes I
Don’t Like My Child” I mentioned that women who go on to suffer from
relationship addiction came from families where they were burdened with
responsibilities too heavy for them. This daughter has that and many of the
other factors going on in her life.
Watch the eldest son try to hide his father’s affair from
his mother. This is the direct opposite of a robust family – because a
robust family is characterized by good communication, where family members
celebrate together and talk about problems when they arise.
Notice how, after the death of his father, this son picks up
where Dad left off.
And then there is the young son who just wants to be left
alone. It all comes together on the night of the father’s birthday. What a
telling scene; the family meal, the sarcasm, the abuse, the chaos, etc.
Be sure you’re prepared to handle this moving experience. I
recommend that parents watch Hot Spell alone first and decide for
themselves whether to show it to their kid/kids.
But if you’re in a very dysfunctional family, this movie could be the spark to ignite the start of a healing process.