Plot Summary: Stingo, a young writer living in a
boarding house, attempts to rescue Sophie from the abusive clutches of Nathan’s
manic treatment of her. It all comes to a tragic end as Nathan dies, leaving
Sophie on her own.
Lessons and healing themes in this story:
- When memories of past choices haunt you
- Being involved with someone who is emotionally unstable
- If sex is what drives your relationship
- Accepting death and moving on
- The realities of relationship addiction and being unable to escape from an abusive relationship
Like Robin Norwood’s book Women Who Love Too Much had a stunning effect on me, this movie will likely have a stunning effect on you.
There is so much going on I suggest you watch it a couple of
times. Look at the desperate relationship that exists between Sophie and
Nathan. Sophie is addicted to the pain of an abusive relationship. In her case,
some of the roots of this addiction go back to when she lived in a Nazi
Concentration Camp, but if you ignore this distinction, the factors can be
compared to living in a dysfunctional family.
Can you see how her experiences in the Nazi concentration
camps are mirrored in a relationship that abuses her both physically and
mentally? You see, she has become attracted to the thing she believes she
deserves in her life.
She’s like someone who grew up in a violent alcoholic home
and later in life marries an alcoholic who abuses her. Can you see how this pattern
is similar to what I discussed in “Sometimes I Don’t Like My Child”? Bad
marriages begin in one’s childhood!
Her behavior, technically is called being codependent:
whenever he does something erratic, she tries to adjust and take on part of the
responsibility for his actions. I want you to see how this dynamic could affect
how parents raise their kids.
Does this hit home? Do you have situations like this going
on in your family? Are you someone who avoids dealing with the reality that your
spouse perhaps –
the father or mother of your kids – is not owning their own behavior; so, you
take it on?
Stingo is right in there with the same codependent behavior
as Sophie. Watch how he plays the knight in shining armor. And what about
Nathan? He is suffering from a serious mental disorder, marked by depression
and extreme manic behavior.
If the person you’re with will not help themselves, they’re
not ready for you to help them. Use this movie as a way to emotional awareness.
Healing comes when you choose to see your own way.