Plot Summary: Four San Francisco women, all
immigrants from China, gather weekly to play Mah Jong and brag about their
daughters. When one woman dies, the others realize that their daughters really
don’t know them. One by one the mothers reveal their pasts to their daughters.
Lessons and healing themes in this story:
- Going back to your roots
- When relationships are strained
- Understanding why you are what you are
- Listening to stories from the past
- Hearing the wisdom from those who are older than you
- How the past life of a parent affects the present and future of the child
In parenting, most people default to the parenting style of one of their parents. If the parent in question was authoritarian, they will be authoritarian, for example. Or they go to the opposite extreme – if the parent was authoritarian, they will be permissive or even adopt a “peerenting” style. They become peer-ents, treating their kids more or less like peers!
In this movie you’ll see how the past life of a parent
affects the present and future of the child. The movie will also, hopefully,
show your kid the wisdom of learning life lessons from those who are older.
Another lesson: How much do your kids know you? Do you ever
talk to them about your past? Sure, they know you were once a kid, but maybe
they think that even if you were a
child once, you breezed through that period with little difficulty.
They want to know
what makes you tick!
You’ll learn great
lessons when these women start talking about themselves to their daughters.
Lessons and healing themes in this story:
• Going
back to your roots
• When
relationships are strained
• Understanding
why you are what you are
• Listening
to stories from the past
• Hearing
the wisdom from those who are older than you
• How
the past life of a parent affects the present and future of the child
Essentially, this movie will give you an opportunity to see how
the past life of a parent affects the present and future of the child.
It’s a perfect example of why stories are so important in helping
us learn what to avoid in life and become better versions of ourselves. Movies
help us move through the process of learning/healing more quickly because we
get to see ourselves through someone else’s experiences.
Our own memories can be selective and not allow us to deal
with the truth. And the truth is what the women in The Joy Luck Club are
coping with. Given what happened in their childhood, it isn’t surprising that
they would have lives laced with abuse, sadness, disappointment, chaos, and
affairs.
I said in “Sometimes I Don’t Like My Child” that bad
marriages and relationships start in childhood. You’ll see this in action in
this movie.
Where these women came from, the sort of messages they got
were things like: “You’re just a servant” and, “You have no value.”
When you watch this film, don’t avoid hearing and seeing the
messages simply because you didn’t have the same set of circumstances as they
did, growing up in China. When you’re feeling emotional about what’s happening
to them, this is a sign you’re really getting in touch with yourself and your
own emotions.
Very few of us had perfect parenting and childhood!
This story will help you see how you could be shaping your
child’s future with what you say to them, how you relate to them, if you’re
emotionally available to them or not, etc.
An important lesson in this movie is that one of the
daughters makes the journey back to her roots because she needs to know where
she came from before she can know where she’s going.
It would be a good idea to watch this movie with your child
or children. Afterwards, spend the time reflecting on the movie and/or getting
the reactions of your child to it. Ask them what they learned from the movie
that has a bearing on your own life in the family.
But don’t push it if they don’t want to talk. Just the
watching will start a learning process that makes your lives better than
before.
The Joy Luck Club is the kind of movie that will be
with you for a long time.