Plot Summary: Abbie decides to take a vacation
from his medical practice to go see his father, Abe. Abe is glad to see him,
but they can’t seem to get close to each other. After Abbie and Abe struggle at
their relationship they come to realize they have something special.
Lessons and healing themes in this story:
- If you can’t say “I love you”
- Learning how to communicate
- Getting in touch with a father/son relationship
- Learning to let go
- Accepting a parent or child for who they are
- Confronting your parent about his/her never truly acknowledging your accomplishments (Many people – kids and adults – have this issue with their parents)
Your kid may have a strained relationship with you that he/she can’t seem to deal with. And the reverse could be true for you.
In Memories of Me you’ll experience the
frustrations of having a strained parent-child relationship. What things do
Abbie and Abe do that remind you of your relationship with your kid? Do you
make jokes to avoid your real feelings?
There is one scene I would really like you to pay special
attention to. At one point Abbie confronts his father about his never truly
acknowledging Abbie’s accomplishments. It’s a powerful turning point in their
relationship.
Many people, both kids and adults, have this issue with
their parents. This should give you insights on how to start engaging with your
child and accepting them for who they are. In fact, the whole ADEPT formula is
in play in this movie.
When the movie is all over get your kid to have that talk he/she
has wanted to have with you – if they’re in the mood to talk. If they don’t that’s not the
end of the story. It’s only the beginning of a wonderful healing journey with
someone you love.
In “Sometimes I Don’t Like My Child” I wrote about
Gabrielle Reece and what a great family they have. She’s quoted, in Tools
of Titans by Tim Ferriss, as saying:
“We’re inclusive, and we treat [our kids] like adults. We’ve
always spoken to them like adults. . . . You have to learn that you’re
imperfect and open that door. . . . I tell my kids to learn how to say, ‘I’m
sorry, that doesn’t work for me.’ And [I also teach them] not to then second
guess [themselves] after they’ve laid that line down. I think that that’s
really important.”
Communication can greatly boost connectedness in a
parent-child relationship. In Memories of Me, this
parent-child relationship didn’t have the sort of communication you’d wish for
during Abbie’s childhood, but finally when as an adult he visits his dad, they hit
it off and discover the power of communicating effectively as they give
themselves a chance to let go and thereafter enjoy some wonderful healing.
Memories of Me will give you great
insights into how to get your relationship with a kid you sometimes don’t like
back on the fast track!